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Friday, June 24, 2011

Needs a breather.


All the examz which I was worried about has all passed. One more paper to go this Monday and im done =)

But a week after that I would be flying off to Nz for studies.

It like one thing after another with no time to breath. I finish my examz this monday, flying off on the 4th which is in a week's time and then my sem starts on the 7th. Gosh, i need a breather.


Owh well, the faster i get studying done the faster i can throw away my books =)


Will update again after my examz if im not too busy.


XoXo.


Friday, June 10, 2011

Only Because...

Ive really seem to have lost my blogging mojo. Its not that i dont ind the time to blog cause I do. But everytime i sit infront of the comp i stare at the screen with nothing to type.

My mind goes blank. Literally.

So im done with all my assignments and presentation and i'm currently having my study break before finals.
Leaving to Nz the week after finals =(




Owh well, I guess everyone must go through change in life.

I'm starting to stare at the screen with nothing to write AGAIN.

Gossh, so annoying.

Will update again when i've got something to blog about.


XoXo.


Sunday, June 5, 2011

Disorders in the American Court


ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!

____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________


ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITN ESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________


ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do..
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
____________________________________________


ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________


ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shi
** ing me?
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid.

____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS : Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.

______________________________ ______________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.

_________ ____________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________


ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m..
ATTORNEY: And Mr... Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.

____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

_____________ _________________________

And the best for last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was a live when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.